


The Egg Hunt

by fluidfox



Series: Haikyuu!! Pokémon AU [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Just Two Dudes Being Guys, M/M, Unsafe driving, just two dudes being gay, just two guys being dudes, please for the love of god dont drive like these idiots, pokemon researchers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluidfox/pseuds/fluidfox
Summary: “You ever think about how, like, super weird it is that all Pokémon hatch from eggs?”Matsukawa considered it. “Y’know, I never thought about that. All of them do.”“Yeah, aren’t humans, like, the only things that don’t hatch from eggs?” Hanamaki scratched his head as he thought.“Nah, dude. Plants.”Hanamaki shifted his gaze to him. “Seeds are just plant eggs.”He felt his mouth drop open. “Dude.”“Yeah.” He grinned.——While Hinata and Kageyama were on their thrilling adventure, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were off on their own stupider quest.Sequel to I Will Travel Across the Land, but can be read standalone.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Series: Haikyuu!! Pokémon AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923349
Kudos: 25





	The Egg Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> Cage the Donphan is just Cage the Elephant haha 
> 
> Here’s Mess Around if you wanna listen to it: 
> 
> https://youtu.be/Wl7cF9bwNHE

“You ever think about how, like, super weird it is that all Pokémon hatch from eggs?”

Matsukawa considered it. “Y’know, I never thought about that. All of them do.”

“Yeah, aren’t humans, like, the only things that don’t hatch from eggs?” Hanamaki scratched his head as he thought. 

“Nah, dude. Plants.”

Hanamaki shifted his gaze to him. “Seeds are just plant eggs.”

He felt his mouth drop open. “Dude.”

“Yeah.” He grinned.

Matsukawa continued shading his meticulous drawing of the egg in front of them. It was almost finished. It was hard to draw with such detail when they first started, but now, both of them could scribble out fine details in minutes. This was the standard routine: Matsukawa sketched the egg from one side, Hanamaki sketched the other side, and, if they got lucky, they’d try for another angle each. You can never have too many sketches. 

People always had the same question to ask them: “why don’t you guys just take pictures?” Of course, none of them would understand without explanation, but Matsukawa felt it was obvious. 

Cameras are damn expensive. 

Also, no camera can get the level of detail that the human eye can catch. 

Also, cameras are dumb.

“Dude, Issei, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” He lowered his pencil. 

Hanamaki pointed at a distant point on the open field they were laying in. “Shit,” he whispered. 

It was a tauros. And it was heading right toward them. 

And it looked fucking pissed. 

“Aw, fuck, run, dude!” Matsukawa shouted. 

They leapt up from the thick grass and began to sprint back to their buggy, which still played their music. Even though both men were tall (dark, and handsome,) their long legs wouldn’t be near fast enough to outpace a tauros.

Already too close for comfort, the angry Pokémon grew closer and closer to them. Matsukawa threw himself into the passenger seat, shortly followed by Hanamaki leaping over him into the driver’s seat. 

“Holy shit, drive, drive!”

The buggy took a second to start back up again, during which the song changed to “Mess Around” by Cage the Donphan, but that was enough time for the tauros to get so close that Matsukawa could make out its individual hairs. 

Finally, Hanamaki slammed his foot on the gas, and they began to zoom off in the opposite direction. The distance between the buggy and the tauros grew wider and wider, each step of its hooves just a bit too short to keep up. 

“Oh my god, I almost pissed,” Matsukawa wheezed. 

Hanamaki made a hard left turn, probably trying to further discourage the rampaging monster. The buggy’s left side briefly lifted off the ground, fighting the sudden change of motion. It made Matsukawa yelp and grab onto the back of his seat. They sped up and down a small hill before he turned right just as hard as the first time, making the right of the buggy bounce up and back down.

“Dude, is it still following us?” Hanamaki asked. 

“Uh...” he looked back at the Tauros, which had vanished behind the hill. “I don’t think so, I think we’re good. Better keep going, just to be safe.”

“Fuck, man, can’t catch a break,” Hanamaki shouted. 

Matsukawa continued to watch behind them, eyes peeled for any danger. As they grew further from the hill, he thought briefly that the scenery looked familiar. 

Had they been here before?

No, no way. They had been working their way into the Safari Zone in one direction. The only changes in direction were for avoiding obstacles, and those were immediately corrected each time. They wouldn’t have made a circle. 

Let’s see, they had camped out last night, woke up, then started driving parallel to the stupid cliff that was in their way. They found a slope that was sturdy and not too steep, they drove up, and they reset to their initial course. Then they kept going forward until they found that nest, and now it was sunset, and-

Wait, wait. The cliff...?

The cliff had a bit of a hill on top of it, and it kinda looked just like this one. 

Matsukawa screamed. 

Hanamaki flinched. “What? What’s wrong?!”

Matsukawa grabbed his shirt and pulled him in. “STOP RIGHT NOW. THE CLIFF! WE ARE DRIVING DIRECTLY OFF THAT CLIFF!”

“OH, FUCK!”

They hadn’t noticed at first because the edge blended in with the scenery, but now that they were closer, Matsukawa could definitely see the ground moving faster than the other ground behind it. 

He slammed his foot on the breaks, but the car continued to slide forward as it skidded on the grass. “WE’RE GOING WAY TOO FAST TO STOP!” Hanamaki wailed.

Matsukawa screamed. 

Hanamaki screamed. 

In his panic, Matsukawa grabbed the steering wheel in front of Hanamaki and whipped it as hard as he could. The buggy began to spin faster and faster as they got closer to the ledge. The air whipped them violently, but that probably wasn’t the biggest concern at that moment.

“I LOVE YOU, BRO!” Hanamaki shouted.

“I LOVE YOU, TOO!” He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for death. 

Suddenly, the wind stopped swirling. Matsukawa knew this was it. He let out a final scream-

“Dude. Issei.”

Wait, why wasn’t he screaming?

Hesitantly, Matsukawa opened his eyes. 

The buggy had stopped just before the edge of the cliff. It was almost parallel to the edge, and Matsukawa was so close to the ledge that it almost looked like there was no earth beneath him. 

“Holy shit...” Hanamaki coughed, his throat scratchy from the screaming. 

“We’re alive. We’re alive,” Matsukawa muttered to himself. 

“I can’t believe that just happened.”

They both took a moment to catch their breaths. The panic wore off slowly.

Matsukawa grabbed Hanamaki by the shirt again, but this time, he pulled him close and slammed his mouth against the other man’s. It wasn’t long before Hanamaki’s tongue wormed its way into his mouth, and Matsukawa eagerly returned the favor. He felt Hanamaki’s large, rough hand slither up his back and into his hair, pulling gently. It made Matsukawa moan unintentionally. 

“Rrrroooaaaaahhh!” Came a cry from behind Hanamaki. 

Matsukawa broke away from their kiss and looked behind them, terrified of what he might see. And he was right to be. 

The tauros hadn’t given up on them. It charged down at them from the top of the hill. 

Hanamaki turned around to see the same frightful sight, immediately letting out a “Fuck!” before slamming his foot on the gas once again. 

He seemed to take the lesson from last time and veered away from the cliff as soon as possible. 

——

Sketchbooks and folders were scattered about the floor of their tent, thrown there haphazardly after they had finished setting it up. It was completely dark, save for the soft flicker of their lantern dangling from the roof. 

“Why do we always keep almost-dying?” Matsukawa asked between kisses. He kissed him again before moving his head down to his neck.

“I have no idea,” Hanamaki laughed as Matsukawa kissed and nipped at him. “A question for you, too: why does it always make you so horny?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered against his lover’s neck. “The adrenaline?” He stopped, and eyes caught Hanamaki’s intense gaze.

“Yeah, same here.” He gripped the back of Matsukawa’s shirt and tugged, his mouth pulled into a devilish grin.

Wordlessly, Matsukawa sat up and flung off his shirt, quickly doing the same for the man beneath him. Hanamaki pulled him back down with one arm and combed through his hair with the other.

Fuck, he loved it when Hanamaki played with his hair. The gentle way he tugged it did all kinds of things to him. 

Their mouths moved sloppily against each other, only breaking for the occasional gasp or breath. 

“Is my ass gonna hurt tomorrow?” Hanamaki groaned into his mouth. 

“Well, hopefully not.” He broke away and smirked. “If it does, I’m sorry in advance.” With swift movements, he gently dragged his hands down to Hanamaki’s belt, then began to undo the buckle. 

He returned the smirk. “You fucker.”

——

“Dude. Wake up, dude. It’s 11.”

Hanamaki only groaned. 

Matsukawa snickered at his laziness. “Does it hurt?”

“Only a tiny bit.” He rolled over and looked at Matsukawa with tired eyes. “Good... job, I guess?”

“You’re a dork.” He laughed at Hanamaki’s scowl and threw some clothes at him. “Get dressed, I already got the rest of our stuff on the buggy.”

With a groan, he clothed himself, although slowly, and crawled out of their makeshift bedding. “I swear, fucking hate waking up early.”

“Again, it’s 11. What the fuck.”

Hanamaki hissed through his nose. “Early.”

Matsukawa shook his head. “21 years old and you still whine like a little bitch.”

“Well, excuse me, princess.” His Link impression was incredibly low-effort. Somehow, that made it funnier.

Matsukawa tossed a granola bar at him, which hit him square in the face, and started out of the tent. “Help me take down the tent, Link,” he cackled. 

——

“So we’re meeting up with Oikawa and Iwaizumi in a week, then?” Hanamaki asked from the passenger seat.

Matsukawa nodded, but kept his gaze on the land in front of them. “Gotta get down to the islands by then. Where they’re on their weird gay vacation.”

Hanamaki chuckled. “Aren’t we also on a weird gay vacation?”

“Fuck, you’re right.”

——

They found another tauros/milktank nest, but this time, they were gonna be careful as fuck. 

Matsukawa stayed in the buggy while Hanamaki did the investigations. After last time, there was no way they were gonna let their guard down. 

Their research had been going relatively well in the sense that they were able to collect a lot of information. Their current project was on milktank/tauros eggs, which is why they were in the Safari Zone in the first place. Together, they had sketches of 56 different eggs, all of which had been drawn from at least two different angles. The whole reason they were doing this was to find some kind of indication as to which Pokémon would hatch from the egg. Milktank and Tauros eggs were impossible to distinguish, as far as anyone knew. After all, all tauros were male and milktank were female. They could be considered the same species with large differences In appearance, size, cry, coloring, stature, behavior... just about anything, really. Despite these differences, they relied on each other for reproduction, and rarely did either bond with another Pokémon entirely, so several experts made the argument that they are the same species. 

Okay, that’s a tangent. The point is, Matsukawa and Hanamaki were gonna be the ones to finally figure it out. There were massive sums of money offered to them by several different facilities, laboratories, and even universities if they could solve the puzzle. Not that Matsukawa was money-crazy; money is just a nice thing to have, especially when your job is essentially “run around with your boyfriend and hope you find some cool science shit.” 

He also just liked the feeling of discovering something that no one else in the world has found. It made him feel smart. 

Hanamaki approached the buggy, and thankfully, he didn’t seem like he was being chased. Instead, he walked casually to the door, opened it, sat down, and closed it. No panic. 

“How’d it go?” He asked. 

“Uh. See, that’s the thing. I got a bunch of sketches. And then something came up behind me, so I started freaking out, but it was a milktank.”

“A milktank?”

“Yeah. And she didn’t look like she wanted to beat the shit out of me. She didn’t seem scared, either.”

“What happened?”

Hanamaki sighed and leaned back. “See, she got really curious about what I was doing and started watching me. I had just finished my last sketch of the eggs, though...”

Matsukawa’s heart dropped. “Did something bad happen?”

“Well...” Hanamaki flipped his sketchbook open, his face solemn. “Something happened, yeah...”

He swallowed. “What, did she eat your drawings?”

Hanamaki suddenly grinned and held up his book. “She totally let me draw her and fucking POSED for me.”

“Woah!” Matsukawa took the sketchbook from him and flipped through the couple of pages filled with milktank drawings. “Seriously? She just started posing for you?”

“Yeah, dude! I was like, ‘can I draw you too?’ And somehow she totally got me and started doing different poses. It was wacky.”

“Wacky radical, dude.”

"Lit." 

They took a moment to laugh, both at their own goofiness and at one drawing of the milktank with its limbs stretched out into an x, its tongue out, and one eye squeezed shut into a forced wink.

“Y’know,” Matsukawa asked, “what’re we gonna do after we finish researching these guys?”

“Man, I dunno. Something weird, probably.”

“Well, of course. We always do weird things. I mean, I think this is weird. Maybe not as weird as when we tried to see what would happen if we swapped a spoink’s orb for a baseball for a day, but still pretty weird.”

Hanamaki chuckled. “Little dude never even noticed.”

“One of the few times where nothing chased or threatened us,” Matsukawa laughed as he started to drive. 

“You’re driving the whole way?”

“Yeah. But you need to start analyzing egg patterns.” He could feel Hanamaki rolling his eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. 

“Fine. How long do you think it’ll be until we get there?”

Matsukawa shrugged. “A few hours? And then we gotta bike to the nursery. So... I guess we’ll be done by evening.”

“I guess that’s manageable. Watch me fixate on this shit. You’ll be so proud.”

“No. I’m driving.”

“Fuck you, man.”

“Love you too~!”

——

Of course, by bike, he didn’t mean those shitty school kid bikes with only one gear. They were boys of culture. Their bikes had several gears.

They picked up said bikes from the safari zone office after a few hours of driving. By then, Hanamaki said he was “kinda onto something” after analyzing the egg patterns. It took him a while to organize the scattered books, papers, and tools, which Matsukawa knew was a sign of Hanamaki’s super-extra-hyperfixation on his work when it was going well. 

You’d think organization would be a sign of things going well, and messes would be indicators of frustration and desperation, but Hanamaki was a weird guy. 

They biked through the woods (off-road, skillful, cool style) for a very long time. The sun was setting by the time they reached the nursery, but at least they got there before it went down completely. 

Hanamaki was immediately swarmed by sandslash and girafarig, who tackled him hard enough to send them all into a big somersault. The sight was adorable, but Matsukawa’s amusement was cut short by his own Pokémon. 

Houndoom bolted into him at full speed, ramming his horns into Matsukawa’s stomach. The shock made his keel over and groan grossly. Mawile caught him, only to start chewing on his entire head with her massive back jaw. He flailed a bit, his usual signal to them to “please stop it hurts I’m squishy,” and mawile released him from her jaws, but the two overexcited Pokémon still swamped him. 

“Wow, you two sure are some goofy boys,” Hanamaki cooed at his Pokémon. He noticed Matukawa struggling and snickered. 

Jerk. 

“They’ve been so impatient,” Sugawara laughed as he approached them. “You’re both clearly very close to your Pokémon.”

“Yesh, aren’t you two jusht the goodest boys in the whole world,” Hanamaki babbled.

Matsukawa finally managed to stand up and bowed slightly at Sugawara in thanks. “Sorry if they were any trouble.” Houndoom headbutted him again, making him hiss in pain and nearly fall once again. “Hanamaki has the money.”

As two two men made their exchange, Matsukawa finally gave in and gave houndoom some good belly rubs and swooped mawile into a big hug. “I missed you guys too,” he giggled. “I would’ve taken you if we were allowed to bring Pokémon to the safari zone!”

“By the way, you two,” Suga suddenly began. “This might sound a bit odd, but do either of you know a man named Oikawa?”

Now that was a bit of a surprise. “Oikawa? Oikawa Tooru? Yeah, we’re actually good friends,” Matsukawa answered. 

Suga’s eyes widened. “Really?! Then do you know where he might be right now?”

Hanamaki laughed. “Right now? No way, that guy’s wild.”

“We were just with him recently, though. We dicked around in Verdena for a while, and he said he was going to Marigold island. But that was last week. We plan to meet up with him in about a week from now.” Matsukawa considered the possibilities. “He’s probably gonna still be on Marigold island up until we meet.”

“Yeah, that fucker was so excited. He’ll love it there. He might even be late to our reunion,” Hanamaki commented. 

“Five bucks he’s actually on time,” Matsukawa laughed. 

“You’re on.”

Suga seemed really excited by this knowledge for some reason. Matsukawa wasn’t about to question it, though. He didn’t seem like he wanted to kill him or anything, so Matsukawa didn’t really care. 

After sharing goodbyes, the two got on their bikes and put their Pokémon in their balls. 

“Where to now?” Matsukawa asked. 

“No fuckin’ clue.”

“Hm...” 

Hanamaki’s eyes lit up. “You wanna just set up a tent in the woods and make out?”

“Hell yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did they ever find the difference between the eggs? Yes. Did they get horribly distracted before they finished? Also yes.
> 
> I just really loved thinking about what these two were up to while Hinata and Kageyama were doing their stuff, so I wrote a little thing about it. 
> 
> There’s barely any actual plot here sorry lmao


End file.
